The past few months have been a whirlwind for our family. The children have been finishing up school. We’ve had ballet performances, and I’ve had a lot of sewing to do. We fell very hard for sweet “Melanie,” and began working to adopt her in April, and have really been on some sort of emotional roller coaster since then.
We have started all over with our new agency for our adoptions, and even though much of the paperwork is the same, there is still so much more to do.
And time marches on ever so swiftly.
I don’t think we’ve ever felt that more significantly than we do now that our daughters’ very lives hang in the balance of our ability to move quickly enough to get to China on time.
Quite frankly, we are really exhausted.
We stepped out in faith to adopt these girls. When we began our adoption of Eliza, we were trusting God for at least half of the money, but when we began again to adopt Melanie as well, we REALLY stepped out in faith.
You can do the math. We’ve been rushing against the clock for months. We already have a huge family with lots of needs. We’re tired. We’re stressed about the money. Life feels hard.
And what do we feel when we’re tired and overwrought?
Doubt.
Fear.
Discouragement.
And that is right where Satan wants us.
He wants us to question our faith. He wants us to doubt the very things God has called us to do, the very work He has begun in us. Nothing would make him happier than to foible the good work God has begun in the hearts of His people.
…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~ Philipians 1:6
We live in this tangible world.
We feel it’s pain.
We bear it’s burdens.
We wear it’s failures and it’s limitations.
It’s so easy to see only what this world has to offer, to get stuck and mired in it’s impossibilities.
But our struggle isn’t with this world.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
And the battle won’t be won here either.
We don’t navigate walking with Christ by the wisdom of this world.
For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. 1Cor. 3:19
We walk by faith, by faith in the One who calls us, the One who keeps this tangible world in motion, the One who is even now working behind the scenes to pave the way for His people.
For we walk by faith, not by sight 2 Corinthians 5:7
We walk by faith in the One who is faithful, even when we are faithless.
It may look like things are falling apart in this world. It may look like we have stepped out in faith to do the most foolish of things, but we are not limited by this finite world. The Bible says the one who spoke the world into existence goes before us preparing the way.
He is the great orchestrator of circumstance.
The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD. Proverbs 16:33
Nothing happens in our lives without first passing through the hands of our Heavenly Father.
This world with all of it’s concerns and cares is the not real world.
The real world is the eternal world just beyond the natural that is carrying on simultaneously to this one, the world in which we must build our lives and our treasures. It is the only world that will last forever.
Indeed, there is nothing more real.
May God in His infinite Grace “supply all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philipians 4:19
Blessings ALL!
Someday you’ll look back on this time and it will seem like a blur. We completed Johanna’s entire adoption in less than 5 weeks and those days were literally exhausting!
It will all come together. Rest in that. Take just ONE day, one piece of paperwork, one bill at a time. Don’t worry about next week, next month, or the rest of their lives with you just yet.
I feel your pain and struggle. I’ve been there. I have to tell you, though, that the “after” can be much much harder than the paperwork. Perhaps God is preparing you know to trust Him so fully once the girls are home and the days are long and hard.
In the end, you know it’s worth every long day, every late night, every penny you could spend. 🙂
I’m right there with you, in spirit anyway. You CAN do this!
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