It’s been another long day.
Evangeline’s foot is still infected, and she will be having surgery again tomorrow to further debride the bone and wash out the infection. She has been sicker today from the antibiotics.
Evangeline has not been told that they had to take off half of her foot. I am very concerned about her seeing it in the morning because she was told in China they would fix her feet when she came to America, but instead they cut part of it off.
I am really exhausted and overwhelmed with all the needs. I’ve had long conversations with the social worker here at CHOP about the girls, and how I will manage it all. Today the weight has felt too heavy to bear.
I am so worried about Eliza because I am here when I should be bonding with her. I’m worried because of some of the behaviors she has, and I feel I desperately need to be home to manage it all. I feel like there is so much I need to teach Eliza, and I feel so inadequate.
Mark came in with some of the children tonight. It was wonderful to see them. Evangeline’s face just lit up all over when they got here, and she cried so hard when they all left.
I did too.
Mark brought Eliza with him tonight too, and I thought she seemed good. It looked like she has made a little progress bonding with some of the children since I had seen her last. I thought that was encouraging.
I know in so many ways these struggles are small in the grand scheme of things. I know they will pass, and we will get through all of these difficulties.
But today I struggle.
I’m so sorry you all are having to go through this. Here is a verse God showed me the other day as we have had a year of medical issues as well. It is absolutely exhausting watching your children go through so much knowing you can’t just “fix it”. Praying for God’s strength to climb this mountain for all of you. Jeremiah 31:25 “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”
I’m so very sorry to hear they removed part of her foot. My heart aches for you and that sweet little girl. Look to our dear Heavenly Father for faith. I will keep you all in my Prayers! May God Bless you.
hugs,
Sherri
prayers for strength Diane. God bless.
For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.
The Lord is near to all who call on Him, He fulfills the desire of those who fear Him; He also hears their cry and saves them.
Jeremiah 31:25, Psalm 145:18,19
Wish I was closer but the Lord God will give you his strength! Hugs & Prayers….. Karen
God knew you were the right person for her to be with when this all had to happen. God bless and keep you, Evangeline, and the entire family. He will provide all your needs according to His riches in Glory.
Diane … how wonderful it would be if we could take our children’s pain and bear it for them. I was worried today when your input on your Website wasn’t there. You seem so sad and desperate. To have your child in pain and having extensive surgery has to be the ultimate test of God’s faith in us. I know you are exhausted and it did help to see some of your children today. They miss you but understand. I wish you could see my tears and the tears of your friends who pray for you. You are a very strong person. Evangeline needs you desperately, you are there for her. She will feel your love and pain and know that things will get better. And Eliza understands what a caring and loving mother you are, that your children come first. She sees that and understands that she too will be calling you for your love when her turn comes. She sees the love you have for your children, it shows. They know you very well. God is with you and will pull Evangeline throuh this. You are strong, good and caring. Evangeline is in the right place. She will pull through this. You will see to it that she does. Your love is overwhelming for your children and she knows and has seen that. Continue to be strong, and tired (its understandable, your rest time is on hold for the present), but God puts us through tests all the time. Evangeline needed a Mother and you got her. A win for Evangeline and Eliza. Your children at home understand and are in awe of your strength and love. They miss you. But it soon will be resolved. Hang on and know that you are much loved by many many people, including me. Love you completely.
I feel your pain. 4 years ago, the infection that has plagued my dad’s knee replacement resurfaced, turning him septic and nearly killed him. This while they lived in Wisconsin. We were able to revive and stabilze him, afterwhich they removed the artificial parts and started his 6 week antibiotic therapy. Immediately after the knee removal, my mother went in to another hospital across town for a scheduled proceedure to remove a watermelon sized cyst from her abdomen. I spent two weeks away from my wife and kids with a quick run home in the middle to refresh my own med supply. All I did for a while was run back and forth between the two hospitals keepng after my folks.
It is hard. While it is going on it is all-consuming and seems like it will never end. But it does end, it does get better. Remember that.
If a bond forged in fire is a strong one, your bonds with your new girls should be exceptional. We continue to pray for you – you yourself, Mark and all of your children, for strength and healing in abundance.
Sending prayers to you and Evangeline, I can see you are doing the best you can under the circumstances….The Lord is with you and will give you comfort….thank you for posting…..I have been thinking of you to-day and wondered how everything went….
we will continue to pray for ALL of you. I know as mom this is esp. hard for you as you can’t be 2 places at once. It doesn’t help that hospitals are not restful places and I am sure you are exhausted! Like I mentioned earlier, I am going to be down at CHOP on Wed. morning with my littlest one. Is there a special treat or practical item(s) I can bring for you and Evangeline? Email me at shaferfamily@verizon.net I can just leave it at the front desk of the unit she is in if that is more comfortable for you. Although Evangeline might get a kick out of interacting with a two year old Chinese boy 🙂
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