I pulled in the driveway this morning after an early morning errand, and was immediately met with a very dejected Eliza. Before I had even shut off the car, she opened the door with tears streaming down her face. “Mommy, I have something tell you.” She said tremulously.
“Tell me.” I said gently, pulling her into my arms.
“I broke your coffee cup.” She gushed as she broke into sobs.
“It’s okay, Eliza. It’s just a cup. It doesn’t matter. We can get a new cup, but I can’t get a new you.”
She smiled through her tears, yet she cried hard in my arms,, before I could even get out of the car. Eventually, she agreed to go upstairs.
I made it up the stairs to find Evangeline waiting for breakfast, for me to wash her hair, and to help her get dressed and put her braces on. That alone takes hours. We had to leave by 11:40 to get Andrew to work on time.
Thanks to the efficient help of our children, and a bit of miraculous intervention too, we did manage to get Andrew to work on time. Since we were so close to Starbucks, Evan and Victoria decided to go in for drinks since they had money, breaking their little brother’s and sister’s hearts.
So, off to Starbucks we all went, getting Evangeline out of the van since she didn’t know what she wanted. Then, in Starbucks, she and others needed to use the bathroom, which was a major production in and of itself. Then I had to go to the bank to stop payment on the comcast bill, which was mistakenly double paid, with nine children, mind you, one of which cannot even get in and out of the van without a step stool and walker.
After we finished that fiasco, I met my sister at the pool. I rushed to get Evangeline out of her braces and into her suit, all the while helping the others with various things, like swimmies and goggles, then left the kids with my sister, except for Victoria and Olivia, and ran Evan to guitar lessons.
I then ran to Aldi’s to pick up a few things. Then back to get Evan, then back to the pool, then put Livi In her suit so she could swim for thirty minutes while I redressed Evangeline and put all of her braces back on.
Then we packed up the car, making sure my two year old nephew wasn’t running in the road, cleaned up the pool, and left, only to realize we didn’t have David. He was in the house changing. I turned around and saw my sister running inside to shut off the alarm, because when he was dressed, he just walked out.
David climbed in the car and left again. We drove to the drug store for Evangeline’s meds, and then finally we arrived home, unloaded the things from Aldi’s, hung up the suits and towels. Helped Evangeline in bed, and it was time to go get Andrew from work.
I am exhausted, and have decided that I cannot take Evangeline to the pool without Mark or another adult.
Anyway. That was my crazy day.
But tomorrow I am going to receive a very special blessing. One of my bloggy friends is in the area and coming for a visit. And I plan to sit and enjoy a long awaited cup of coffee with her.
I’ll let the laundry wait, and the dishes too. The kids can play, and tomorrow I will rest and enjoy this precious blessing God is sending my way.
In the midst of all of the busyness of the past weeks, I’ve begun to notice a change in my heart, a lightness of feeling, as if that tiny spark I always knew was there, but could barely see has begun to grow again and ignite into a thriving fire of hope within me.
For months, I have felt like I’ve been pressing on in search of some new normal, and walking by faith into God’s will for my life, trusting that He would finish the work in my heart that He started so long ago. The days have seemed long and the valley so low and so endless that so frequently my faith has fallen short. Over and over again I’ve reminded myself that it is to this work, of serving and loving and pouring myself out until I am so exhausted that all I can do is fall into God’s waiting arms each night, that He has called me.
There’s a verse I’ve repeated in my mind daily these past months that has become so dear to me. I share it with you here.
if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself. ~2 Timothy 2:13
I don’t know when it happened, but somehow amidst the striving and the doing, the working and the failing, I have felt that great joy within me begin to burgeon again. I have felt the power and peace and joy of my Savior.
Friend, if you’re walking through what seems like an endless darkness, carrying a cross that feels too heavy for your feeble shoulders, know that you are not alone.
God is faithful, believing for you and with you as you press on, void of the warm feelings you thought would guide you. Our obedience to God, or success in His work, isn’t reflected in our feelings. It’s reflected in the choice to trust that we are walking the path, however hard, that God has called us to, and that in His perfect timing, we will see the fruit of His work in our lives and feel again the joy and excitement that once propelled us.
God is faithful, even when we are faithless.
Blessings All!
beautifully written, Diane. I sometimes feel like you describe, with only two children 😉 Enjoy your days with your beautiful family…
warm regards, Claudia x
Thank you, Claudia!
You too!
Xo
Happy 4th of July!!! I feel like this lately too, and I only have 3 little ones. Your obedience and love of the Father is so encouraging to me. I love reading your posts!
Your comment encourages me. Thank you.
Xo
D
And all day I wanted to text you and find out how you were doing. Whew! Would you have had time to answer a text? Maybe next week just bagels and coffee at your house. Love to read your post and am encouraged at your hope– and how you are, in turn, able to encourage others. Love ya, dear friend!
Oh my goodness Diane, I only just read this and had no idea you had had ANOTHER crazy day Wednesday! You handle it all with such outward calm and grace. It was such a blessing to spend those hours with you yesterday! Thank you for the great time we spent together, and also for your honesty and encouragement, which meant so much to me. Don’t have time for more now but I’m so thrilled we finally got that cup of coffee and all that conversation!