This is a post written by a friend in response to the many negative comments written about my sharing the difficulties I had bonding with Eliza. It is excellent and well written and well worth your time to read it.
You can read it here, The Light of Home.
I will continue my plan to write in detailed story-like fashion about the silent months on my blog. I am called to share our story and feel that I am at a place where I can because of the healing that has taken place in our hearts and in our daughter’s hearts.
I will add that we have three special needs children, one of which is our oldest son, Andrew, who has Aspergers. He is gifted and has great strengths, and he has big weaknesses to overcome. AND we love him, for every intricacy of his wonderful brain. And he knows it.
The same is true for our daughters. We love them, love every detail of their specially made brains and bodies. We celebrate them. There is no shame in sharing the wonderfully created people that they are. Covering up our differences and hiding them and refusing to talk about them creates shame.
Please spare me the comments on the feelings of my daughters. I adore them, and of course we have discussed all of this. We have chosen to, this time, share my feelings, and the effects their adoptions had on me and our family in an effort to encourage others to speak out about the times when the feelings don’t come right away, to normalize the very frequent feelings adoptive parents have, and ultimately to help the children through supporting the parents.
May God bless you as you seek His will for your life.
Blessings!
Diane, I understand some of the things you are/had struggled with Eliza. When I first brought Erin then 13 home from China, we had many struggles, I did write in details some of those struggles for a few reasons, some is to let people know the difficulties there was with adopting her, it was the most difficult thing I experience, but both of us have come out of it stronger then ever and she is resilience. I don’t judge people unless I have walked in their shoes. People on the outside looking in always have their opinions and I had to learn to ignore the negative ones. There was a time I thought I would disrupt the adoption because of what was going on and how it was affecting the rest of the family. I was lucky enough that God told me not to and I trust him. Hang in there .
Thank you again. The comments can be harsh… maybe somebody can moderate comments for you. Somebody who is not going to have wounds reopened by reading them. Not that you are, but it’s a legitimate risk. 🙂 I appreciate you.
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