Today has been a much better day.
Evangeline has really been good today. She’s perky. Her fevers are gone. She’s eating, and smiling a lot more. Her foot is healing really well, so well that the surgeons cancelled her surgery today.
Praise God!
I did fall today on the wet floor in Evangeline’s room so I am quite sore and have an abrasion on my hip, but I’m okay.
I just want to thank all of you so much for your encouraging words, kind phone calls, and generous gifts and deeds. I was just so low yesterday. I felt so inadequate to meet the needs. I was literally panicky about Eliza being home desperately needing to bond with me, and needing me to teach her so many things.
I questioned how God could think I could handle all of this.
I felt so desperate.
I wanted to adopt these girls with everything I had in me, with my whole heart. I wanted to love them and make a difference in their lives no matter what it took. But yesterday, I felt I just wasn’t up to the task.
There have been days when I have felt overwhelmed since we got the girls, but not like yesterday. Yesterday, I was just certain there was no way I could meet the many needs of both our girls and all nine of our biological kids too.
I cried all day.
The social worker at the hospital came to see me, and I cried. Karla and Ashley from Lifeline tried so hard to encourage me. Yet, still I cried.
When Mark and the kids came last night, they encouraged me so much. I could see Mark was doing just fine, and the kids were thriving, even sweet Eliza.
But I still went to sleep crying. I just couldn’t see how I could do it all well.
As I fell asleep, I remembered there was no way I could meet all the needs by myself. I couldn’t with nine, or five, or one, and I certainly couldn’t with eleven. I can do a lot, but at any moment my foot could slip. It is only by God’s grace that I can even breath. I can’t make my own heart beat.
And it’s okay.
I didn’t bring these girls home by myself.
God brought them home.
Mark and I will spend our lives loving these girls, but it is God alone who will enable us to meet their needs.
How silly of me to think I had to bear it all alone.
Today, God sent in the troupes. So many of you called me to chat and encourage me. Many wrote such kind words of encouragement. Dear friends from cyber space called and said they’d be passing through this week and offered help. My dear friend is bringing a meal to my family on Monday.
My sister came to see me with her children and her sweet five month old baby boy, Benjamin, and I got to hold him. My niece, Emily, brought beads and string and helped Evangeline make a beautiful bracelet.
My sister also started a Care Calendar where local families can offer to provide a meal for our family. If you would like to help us in that way, you can access the calendar here, and choose an available date.
God eliminated the need for Eliza to have another surgery.
God ministered to my soul through His body, through all of you.
I am so blessed.
Yesterday, I cried.
Today, I am filled with joy and awe at the God I serve.
If Evangeline had not been adopted precisely when she was, she most likely would have been dead in six months.
If we had not gotten our Eliza out of that orphanage, I shudder to think of how her life would have been.
But here we are, and here God is.
And we are so blessed.
‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty. ~Zechariah 4:6
Oh Diane ! I am so happy that things are going better ! I will show Emily the picture of Evangeline when she wakes up. She has been really worried about her. Let me know when would be a good time for another Face Time. ☺
Oh I am so happy that things have turned around and that things are looking up……always remember that you can give your burdens up to the Lord and he will carry them for you…..hope that things continue to improve….sending hugs to Evangeline from North Carolina….
I have been following your blog for quite some time. I can’t say I know exactly how are you are feeling but I do know how it feels when you have so much stress and it hurts to even breathe. I lost my home to forclosure, my car to repossesion, had no money to feed my kids, and my husband lost his job that he had for 19 years… And I asked GOD for help. We have 5 beautiful girls that are my responsibilty and we were sinking fast and had no help. NONE. GOD did not let me down, he waited until the time was right..It wasn’t right when all the bad happened, it was when he knew the time was right. I questioned GOD many times, I questioned why all this was happening to my family… GOD was there the whole time. GOD is watching you and your family. GOD brought you Evangeline and Eliza, GOD knew that you and Mark were meant to be her parents, that your 9 biological children could be the best sibling for your new girls. Times are hard but when times get hard in the long run GOD is just making you stronger!!! Hang in there, you are great!!! These girls are so lucky to have the family they have. Crying is healthy….
Dear Diane…your honesty is refreshing, candid and real. Know SO many people are praying, following and caring about you, Mark and your family’s journey as you shower love, encouragement, discipline and God’s grace to these beautiful young ladies from China. In your weakness, you have reached out to the One who made you and have given Him all the glory. He knows every tear you cry and gave you moments to release all the emotions you’ve had to bottle for the past months. You are loved and are being carried by Him and many here that walk beside you in thought, prayer and deed. Love, Karen
I couldn’t pick just one- I had to share them all. =)
Galations 6:9
Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anthing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. and the peace of God which transends ALL understand will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Deut. 31:8
The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; he will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Matthew 6:24
Therefore, do not be anxious aabout tomorrow for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Psalm 50:15
Call upon me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you and you will honor me.
Jeremiah 10:23
“I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for a man to direct his steps.”
Ecclesiates 3:1
There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.
Psalm 91:11-12
For He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up lest you strike your foot against a stone.
II Thessalonians 3:16
Now may the Lord of peace himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance.