At Rehab

It’s been sixteen days since Evangeline’s surgery.


She is feeling so much more like herself, and her incision site has really healed nicely.

Yet, the damage to her leg has been severe. Everyone is hoping her leg will gain a full recovery, but no one knows how long it will take or how much physical therapy it will require.


She seems to have adjusted well to life at the rehab, but her reaction to Mark and me has really changed. She doesn’t seem happy when we are there. She only wants the nurses to take care of her, and literally just ignores us.

I’m not sure if she is protecting her heart, or if she is trying to punish us for leaving her there.

While I want her to have all the physical therapy that she can have, I am more concerned now about her heart.

She has only been home six months and has lived in an institution for most of her fourteen years. She knows how to survive in an institution. I feel like she is falling back into her old patterns of manipulation and control. I say that carefully because I completely understand how all of that developed, and this has been such a trauma for her. She has been through so much since she has arrived here in the States.

It’s just hard to sit by and let it happen because that behavior had really been extinguished in our home.

We are looking at a possible discharge date of April 30th.

That seems like such a long time for her to be away from us.

From a family perspective, this is really hard. I’ve been running back and forth to the hospital every day, and it is just really difficult to meet all the needs running back and forth.

It’s also been tough on Eliza.

If I leave her there, I am going to have to cut back my trips to the hospital. I just can’t continue to go everyday. That seems like a bad idea for Evangeline. Right now she is bonding with the nurses.

And I am really concerned about this change I see in her.

Today I’m going up to talk to the staff about what our options are for physical therapy at home.

Your prayers for wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you all.

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  1. Penny says:

    Diane, I can practically hear your heart breaking through the screen….prayers for getting her home FAST are coming your way.

    Do the doctors understand that as damaged as her leg may be, her heart has been more damaged by what she went through before coming to you, and is more in need of healing? Is there something you can quote to them from, I don’t know, Karyn Purvis or someone, that would support that argument and make them understand what the priority is here? If the leg takes longer to heal at home, maybe that’s less important.

    I have no doubt that G-d can get this sorted out!! Sending love…

  2. Penny says:

    …and a couple more thoughts….could your social worker advocate with the doctors, given that he/she can speak with professional authority on attachment issues and maybe bring some bureaucratic pressure to bear? Also, could the Doman people help with home therapy at all??

  3. Claudia Huisman says:

    Oh Diane… this has been my concern from the moment that you wrote that she needed intern rehab… Like Penny suggests, I would get out every professional possible from a mental perspective to advocate her home coming real soon! Her heart needs healing too!
    I wish you lots of wisdom…
    warm regards,

  4. Molly says:

    Praying for wisdom for you! Have you been involved with an international adoption clinic at all? Maybe there is one you could call and consult with. The one in our area has a staff covering multiple disciplines and they try to focus on the needs of the child as a whole rather than isolating the physical from the emotional.
    Molly recently posted..The Power of Appreciative WordsMy Profile

  5. Joanie says:

    I am not an expert, but my initial thought is that, yes, this is a setback, but in the long run, she will continue to see ther you two are the constants in her life and that you’re not abandoning her…that you continue to spend time with her day after day, and that before long (in the grand scheme of things), she’ll be back at home.

    If you could get approval for in-home therapy, all the better, but if not, I believe her heart will not be hardened. She knows in her heart that you truly love her.

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