Today I thought I’d share a funny story with you.
Victoria was planning a trip to a concert with her cousin, and Mark was in the midst of telling Victoria that he didn’t want them to go alone. Either he or Andrew would go with them.
Then he added, “I can’t have you getting abducted!”
And in the sweetest, most confident little voice, David announced, “Actually Daddy, aliens don’t exist.”
This morning as I was knee deep in homeschooling and serving up various mid-morning mugs of hot cocoa and hot tea with milk and sugar to my precious students, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of how blessed I am to have the privilege of teaching my children.
The morning had gone exceptionally well, and all of the children were enjoying each other. They were chatting about books they were reading and helping the little ones with things like hopscotch and writing their letters.
Olivia and Jonathan were having great fun with the glue, and wonderfully demonstrating that amazing ability children possess of making something wonderful out of nothing.
All out of craft supplies?
Just glue toys, and the glue bottle.
It’s great fun!
It was one of those surreal moments for me when all of the sudden I realized we had made it through, and we were okay. We were really okay. We had walked through the hard and finally come to a place where things had begun to feel more comfortable again.
Many of you have followed our first year at home with the girls.
It’s been a very demanding year. Evangeline had six significant hospital stays with enormous medical issues, and through it all, we struggled to understand and meet Eliza’s needs.
I’ve written some about my concerns for Eliza, but I’ve held a lot back too out of a desire to protect her.
At first we were told that Eliza had Autism. There certainly were behaviors that supported that diagnosis, and yet there were still so many unanswered questions.
A few weeks ago, we were finally able to have a neuro-psyche evaluation completed for Eliza, which gave us a much clearer picture of our sweet girl’s strengths and weaknesses. The results indicated that she is functioning at the borderline MR level, with an extremely low attention span and a real weakness in reasoning ability.
As much as we suspected issues like this with Eliza even while we were still in China, it helps so much to have a clearer understanding of why we’ve been seeing the behaviors we have.
During the winter, I just kept going, kept pressing on with a calm resolve and an expectation that we’d get through this first year and be okay. It felt like I was a horse with blinders on. I saw the path before me, and kept moving forward, and nothing else really had much effect on me.
But this summer I lost that focus.
I lost the belief that we would really be okay.
I forgot that this was God’s work and that we could do this only because of His strength, only because of His presence in our lives, only because of His grace.
I took my eyes off of what God could do and became overwhelmingly aware of what I could not do.
The girls needs weighed so heavily that I began to feel like I couldn’t leave my bedroom, let alone face the needs and constant demands of all eleven of our children.
It truly was a deep low for me, a valley in my life that I am only now beginning to get through.
Today I could see that great light at the end of the tunnel. I was filled with an amazing peace that we had indeed chosen to walk the path to which God had called us to walk, and I felt deep inside that amazing blessing that we can only know when we have pressed on and walked through the valley with God.
If you are walking through a valley in your life as well, know that God is faithful to bring you through.
Even the darkness is light to Him.
I believe there is a special lesson for all of us to learn as we walk through the valleys of our lives. And for me, I was reminded of God’s faithfulness to us, even when we are faith-less.
if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself. ~2 Timothy 2:13