I am a mother, a rather gentle mother. I take much care in making sure I am “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”  James 1:19

When in doubt, I bite my tongue. When people hurt me, I choose to look the other way. When I am overlooked, I trust God to right the scales.

However, when my child has been deliberately excluded from something she rightfully deserves, this gentle mother grows horns. There, I said it. I grow horns. I really do.

We choose to send our children to a private, Christian school. In fact, if you read my previous post, I reflected on how thankful I have been that they can be educated in a Christian environment.  This choice comes at a high cost to our large, one income family. It’s expensive, and the truth is, leaves zero room for amusement after the bills are paid. Our last family vacation was in 2007 at my husband’s parents Time Share.

I am not complaining. We do this because we want too. It just makes the offense I’m about to describe all the more hurtful and egregious.

My precious daughter completed eighth grade today with a 99+% average for the year. She worked really hard to do her best at something that does come naturally to her. Many nights I went to bed and left her awake studying in her room. Her hard work paid off with a remarkable GPA, by any standard.

In addition she was a cheerleader, played soccer, ran track, participated in Government Day with the county, and was elected as an alternate for Student Activities Organization.

She received these awards today at the awards ceremony.

In addition to these noteworthy awards, she received an invitation to participate in the National Young Leadership conference.

This year the eighth graders took the Explore test. The results of this test are a predictor for future performance on the ACT. My daughter’s results? Her lowest score on all sections was a 97%. Scores like these on the ACT will identify her as a National Merit Scholar.

She performed in The Nutcracker with a professional ballet company for five years.

And in her spare time, she watches cooking shows, reads China adoption blogs, and prays for the fatherless. She dreams of traveling to China someday to bring home one of these precious abandoned children.

She has never had a detention or been disciplined for any reason.

She is my right arm.

And yet, for some reason this school that I have sacrificed for and called a “family,” has decided that she does not meet the standards for National Honor Society.


If she doesn’t, then who does?

Apparently, she’s too quiet. She’s not a leader.

In fact, she is quiet. She has completely alluded all the middle school drama that is so typical of those years. Praise God!

She’s not a leader? Since when was leadership reserved for the boisterous? What about the strong quiet type that lead by example?

Well, I wish to appeal, but to whom? The school administration? I tried. They chose to stick by their laughable decision. The local chapter of The National Honor Society? Perhaps.  The Newspaper? Maybe.

One thing is certain. God will right the scales for my dear daughter, even if I can’t.

As for me? I think I hear homeschooling calling my name in the near future. And a vacation.

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  1. Jillian says:

    Wow! This is really terrible for your daughter and for you, her Mother, as well. The only thing I can think of is that God knows something else that we do not know or see at this time. There were so many times in my life I was mad and disappointed because a job or a promotion did not come my way. Looking back now I can completely see why! But at the time I could not see.

    I hope this comforts you in some way. Your daughter really is amazing and God knows it too.

  2. Andrea says:

    Diane, I hear ya!! Nothing gets me more upset than someone messing with my child. This will be character-building for her, and is happening for a reason. God has plans for her and for you, and that will be accomplished whether or not man puts his stamp of approval on your daughter’s work. We faced a similar situation with 3 of our 5 kids in private christian school, and let me just tell you, the decision to finally homeschool was incredibly freeing!! We are entering our third year at home, and I am loving it. It is work, but God blessed us mightily by dropping the perfect curriculum for us right in our laps. I love this life we have chosen, and the freedom it gives us, especially for our large family. I urge you to pray and thank God for these circumstances, asking him to show you the ‘why’ and to make clear the path he has for you. I will pray too.

  3. Heather says:

    Diane, I’ll be praying peace for you. Is it something that is now closed for her,or does she have a chance again the following year? I don’t know how these things are decided, but it might be worth writing a letter of appeal.

  4. Sivje says:

    Oh my goodness Diane! I would be so upset too! I think I would appeal to the local chapter of the Honor Society and explain the situation as well as show them all her awards and scores. Quiet achievement is leadership, as is the refusal to participate in the girl-drama that is so much a nasty part of school. I think she deserves to be in the NHS for sure.

  5. Mama D's Dozen says:

    I think homeschooling and family vacations sounds like the right answer to me. 🙂

    Homeschooling? I have educated my 12 children at home for the past 20+ years … and have at least 9 years left. You. Can. Do. It.

    Family Vacations? Oh. My. Yes. In the past 6 years we have traveled with our children to 41 states. Yes. We. Have. Last fall, I took my 6 youngest children (ages 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 17) on a 6 week Road Trip (without my husband) … drove 9,000 miles … through 17 states … and visited 9 National Parks and Monuments. It was AMAZING!!! (On our first trip, in 2004, we took 9 kids … the youngest were just 2 & 4 … drove 8,000 miles … through 22 states … in 3 weeks.)

    So glad you joined my blog today. I look forward to getting to know your family.

    Laurel 🙂

  6. Connie says:

    I am so sorry this happened. I totally understand as this happened kind of to us. We truly felt in our hearts that our daughter should of received a certain award but because she entered this school at Christmas time (we moved), they said she didn’t deserve it. Had she started in Sept., then she would of won.

    My daughter took it better than me…but the expression on her face sent me to the moon…I bawled the entire day. My daughter was trying to comfort me.

    Will be praying for peace.


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