I used to think I knew a lot. I was confident and educated. My husband had graduated from an Ivy league graduate school. We both spoke fluent french. We both had double majored with our second majors being French, just because we enjoyed the language. I had attended La Sorbonne in Paris, and Mark, the University of Tours. My husband had an excellent career in City Management, and then later as an International Financial Consultant.
And I loved being a stay at home mother.
I had never wanted anything in my life more than I wanted to be a mother. My family still laughs about the fateful afternoon a few months after I had returned from Paris when a pram arrived from Belgium replete with baby bedding and parasol. I was ready for motherhood. The only problem was, there wasn’t even a hint of a husband in my life.
I had read every possible book on attachment parenting. I knew the psychologists by name and understood their theories on human behavior, and I even knew Jesus. I knew the one who had created these precious children.
Life was good.
Then my sweet little babies began to grow up. No matter how desperately I loved them or how well I could manage their lives, my sweet children began to have needs I couldn’t meet. With each new child God gave to our family, the needs grew, and in so many ways, the questions grew too.
Now I find myself at today. I am still that blessed stay at home mother. My husband still has an excellent job. God has given me wisdom over the years, and yet I have so many more questions. The needs are bigger. The questions are bigger. The money doesn’t stretch as far as it did back then.
I see my limitations so much more vividly now. I see my frailties.
I see God.
I see Him working in the midst of my faulty efforts. I see Him knitting together the broken pieces of my limitations. I see Him making good out of my failures.
I see the need for the Savior in my children’s lives, and daily, I see how desperately I need the Savior to guide me as I parent these incredible lives He has given me for a season.
As each new day dawns, I see the need for God’s miraculous hand in each of our lives, and I ask Him to fill me with His wisdom…amidst a sea of questions.
I marvel at how little I really knew back then.
Isn’t it ironic, the questions that come from wisdom?
Asking God to bless you today with His wisdom as you parent His gifts!