A Hard Thing

I know it’s been slim pickings around here.

The girls are good. Evangeline has a full leg cast and is healing from surgery to rotate her tibia and to add bone grafts in her right foot. Andrew is healing from surgery for Pilonital disease which has proved to be rather painful, and is awaiting surgery for his eyes.

The rest of the kids are well, except little Jon who has something flu-ish. Colin is loving his life at boarding school with the Atlantic City Ballet. Sophia, David and Jonathan are all preparing for Nutcracker also with ACB.

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Evan has been working on a degree in computer repairs and IT, and playing his guitar, but just broke his wrist. :-/

Victoria just took the SAT and is looking at colleges, and will be mothering our littles over the next weeks.

I hope you’re all well and am praying for each and every one of you. You haven’t heard from me in a while because I have been on a downward spiral with Anorexia. I have tried hard to fight it on my own. I don’t understand it. I feel like this is a spiritual battle because God was doing so much in my life and through me. But I’m losing the battle and last week my family Dr. said that I am dying. I have not really eaten much for 18 months. I am going to Shepherd Pratt center for eating disorders in Baltimore, Maryland. I don’t want to go and be away from my family now at the holidays, but I don’t have time to wait, and I want to be with them for many more Holidays to come. I am sad and broken, but know that God has a plan, and wish to do this with grace and thankfulness for God’s faithfulness even when I am faithless.

Please pray for Mark and the kids, and know that I will be praying for all of you this Holiday season. I will have access to a computer and would welcome your emails, but I won’t have my cell phone or iPad.

Did you hear that sigh?

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And here is a link to an Atlantic City Press Article about their trainee program with a video of our son and pictures of him in class.

May God bless you all this Holiday season, and I’ll be back on the other side of this.

Blessings.

 

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27 comments

  1. Donna Nance says:

    Diane, this just breaks my heart for you and your family. I would love to send encouraging e-mails to you even though we have never met. You can send me one at the above e-mail and I will reply with my good one…this one is a junk e-mail I use to post…May God continue to hold you in the palm of his hand…blessings..Donna

  2. Claudia says:

    Oh my, Diane, so sorry to hear about your condition. That is really serious. Good thing you are getting help now. I am sure with your faith in God, everything will turn out for the better. Sad to hear you can’t be with your family during holiday season, but maybe it is better for you to have one worry less (organisation-wise…). Now it is Diane-time, you really need it! Mark will manage with the help of family and friends…
    Take care, wishing you all the best, warm regards, Claudia xx

  3. Wendy McComas says:

    I will be praying for your family, but most of all for you Diane. I don’t know the right words to say, but I will pray that God holds you in His arms while you work on taking care of you. Be encouraged when you are down because I know that you are deeply loved. Take one more bite when you feel you can’t…if you can’t do it for yoi, do it dor your family. Your name will be brought to the Healer often…

  4. Bonnie Voges says:

    Diane,

    It is a positive thing that you are aware of the devastation of this disease and willing to go to inpatient treatment. I worked with eating disordered patients for years and am aware of this mighty struggle. I will pray for you and the wisdom to fight this struggle!!!

  5. Karen J Moseley says:

    Dear Diane,
    I am happy that you put a name to this horrid battle: Anorexia. I have wondered about it for many, many months. Long before you wrote the “Silent Months”. I wanted to ask you, but then I didn’t want to be nosy.
    I have been there, My Sister. For a long 20+ years. I was down to 90 lbs. ay one point. And, spent a straight 11 months inpatient. It IS hard!
    But, use this time to talk. Share your pains and fears. You will be surrounded by others who have many of the same fears and issues with food.
    Know that I will be praying. Cling to Him. He already knows what lies ahead for you. He knew that you would go through this journey.
    I Believe that He will Heal you of anything that is causing you to reject food/nutrition.
    I Love You, Sweet Friend. I’ll be praying for your children, as well. (Poor Andrew!!)
    Believing is Peace, Healing and Victory over any and all illness in your family. {{HUGS}} Jo

  6. Julia Slater says:

    Diane, you can pull through this! You and the entire McCaslin family are in my thoughts and prayers! Please let me know if there is anything I can do!

  7. Karen Haske says:

    I’m so sorry and sad to hear about this struggle that you and your family are going through. I wish I had words of wisdom, encouragement, or something, but the best I can do for you is to keep you in prayer before our heavenly Father.
    Karen Haske recently posted..Busy, busy, busyMy Profile

  8. Allison Kellum says:

    I will pray for you. And please know that your struggle is worth your fight. I’m not good with words like you, but know that there are many who care about you.

  9. jane shepherd says:

    My dear Diane. My heart is heavy for you and this struggle that you have made public. I thank God that you are strong enough to realize your done doing this on your own and now getting help . We can do all things through God who strengthens me. God has your back and that of your family. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life. Would love to get together with you when you are home and on the mend. After all, it’s always time for coffee . God Bless sweet friend

  10. Amber Pilsner says:

    Just remember, He will heal you. God is good all the time…All the time God is Good!
    Sending many prayers up for you, Mark and your beautiful children.
    You will come back stronger than ever. Many (((hugs))) sent your way! Happy Thanksgiving!

  11. Scott Hurula says:

    Praying for you and your family, Diane! Trusting in His divine love and power to uphold your loved ones and to give you grace to triumph in your battle.

  12. Dot Miller says:

    Dear Diane, me, a writer, has no words to tell you how sorry I am for this dilemma. Tears here because you don’t deserve this.
    Grab ahold and climb out of this. Please. Find a focus and visualize it as a light at the end of the tunnel and climb on up out. You are too important to do anything different.
    But Jesus’ stripes, you are healed. Amen.

  13. Rachel Davis says:

    I am so glad you are getting treatment! And I’m so sorry you need it. I have been really struggling with depression and it’s so frustrating to be getting sicker without being able to stop it on my own. I encourage you to submit yourself to the recovery process and also to trust the people who are there to support you. Don’t give up.
    Rachel Davis recently posted..Video overload!My Profile

  14. Karenlynna says:

    Dearest Diane, that’s who you are to me, even though we’ve never met. I have been following your blog since you brought the girls home & I think of y’all often. I have begun to pray for you each time you pop in my mind-and that has been quite frequently since I read your latest post yesterday. You are the world to your family, and I am so proud of you for doing what you need to do to heal & be with them for many years to come. I will continue to pray that you overcome this. I will pray for your sweet family as well. God bless you!
    Karenlynna

  15. Penny says:

    Oh Diane, my heart is breaking to hear this. You are always in my thoughts and are so much in my prayers over this. Praying fervently and lifting you up for refuah shleimah, complete healing of body and soul. Wish I could do more for you, dearest friend. Please let me know if there’s anything I can help with.

  16. Jennifer S says:

    Dear Diane- I’ve never commented before, thought I’ve been a longrime reader. You are such an authentic voice who shares not only her joys and blessings but also the struggles that we all face. I have often felt that more would be inspired to believe in God if we didn’t make it seem like only the perfect need apply. Thank you for sharing with us, thank you for being imperfect and willing to admit it and therfore reach those of us that are also struggling. Praying for you and your sweet family on this new journey to health. Please know that there are many who are rejoicing with you and praying with you even if we aren’t regular commenters.

  17. Jane Caldwell says:

    diane, know that my thoughts and
    Prayers are with you….God does some of His most beaitiful things at our lowest olaces! Hold on to what you know to be true! Faith does not know where it is being led but it knows and loves the One who does the leading!! He IS with you, He has not abandoned you and His plans for you are good!! The
    Comfort He brings to you wil allow you to comfort others when He brings you
    To the other side of this!! Love you my sweet friend!! Praying, praying, praying!!

  18. Cindy Hignett says:

    my sweet friend, I suffered with anorexia/bulimia for 20 years. I was hospitalized twice and for some reason it was always around this time of the year. I am always here to listen and of course pray without ceasing. When I look back on it, I believe it was you and your sweet mother that saved my life at a really hard time. I love you. Don’t give up the fight!!! You can do it.

  19. Rebekah D. says:

    Dear Diane,

    I’m sorry to hear about this painful ongoing struggle. I’m glad you’re getting help.

    I had a friend who also struggled with anorexia and decided to do inpatient therapy in a special treatment program. It was very helpful for her and as far as I am aware (she has moved out of state so we have very little contact), she is now living a healthy life with her little ones.

    Thank you for your update. This is a battle that is worth fighting and your children will benefit from seeing you face hard things. And seeing the Lord strengthen you when you are unable to do it in your own strength.

  20. Rachel says:

    I’ve followed your family story for a while and just wanted to say you have a lovely family and you seem like an incredibly strong woman, despite how you may feel at this time.
    I’m not at all religious and not someone who prays but I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
    Please take care of yourself and I hope you can find the time to heal, relax and reflect.
    Cheers.

  21. Debbie H. says:

    Oh Diane! I will be praying for you and your precious family! So glad that you are where you can get the help you need to heal so that you can be here for a lot more years to come. Blessings on you my friend as you do the hard work before you to get well.

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