When Our Feelings Waiver

A sweet friend tagged me in a post this morning.

There is a precious family in China adopting two teenage daughters even as I write this who is struggling. She asked if I could share any words of encouragement for this dear family.

I remember those days in China so vividly.

We dreamed and prayed and prepared for the day we would meet our new daughters for so long, but in so many ways we were no more prepared to parent these precious parent-less girls than we had been before those long months of waiting.

They walked into our lives with an unnatural abruptness, and we were left with a wide-eyed, deer in the headlights sort of shock.

What had we done?

How would we meet the overwhelming needs of two young ladies who had never had a mom and dad?

Would they ever feel like our own?

I know, all too well, what this family must be feeling.

We’ve now been home with our girls for eight months.

The sound of our daughter’s footsteps are familiar to us now. We know what they like and what they don’t like. We’ve dried their tears, taught them the language, prayed with them, and held them when they’ve been sick.

And they have begun to share the most heartbreaking stories of their lives in China.

They absolutely love having a family.

They are blossoming in our love and in the security of our home.

This has been an amazing journey that has stretched us and grown us in ways we never expected, and our lives will be forever richer for having chosen to love them.

One never loses when one chooses to love a child.

I don’t usually like to give advice.

But I will say this.

There’s a lot of stress when you’re in China. You’re in a foreign country. You’re completely out of your comfort zone with a brand new child who doesn’t speak your language.

The excitement is over. You have now become parents again and the work of it is all ahead of you.

It is overwhelming.

But the One who called you is faithful. You can trust Him to finish what He started in your hearts.

…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~Phil. 1:6

Keep your expectations low. You aren’t yourself and neither are your shell-shocked brand new daughters.

You will soon be home in the comfort of your own home, and in time, you will experience the most incredible joy as you watch your new daughter’s personalities unfold.

I wrote a post entitled, Some Hard Things, a couple weeks after we came home from China that really applies to the difficult feelings that we faced in China. You can read it here.

And to the family who is struggling, know that we are praying for you.


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  1. Claudia says:

    Hi Diane,
    I know that you have been facing quite some challenges, both in China, and back home. Yet the love and positivity prevail and I believe that your girls are well on their way to love you back full of trust and unconditionally. Despite every setback that they had before you met. If this post doesn’t encourage the family currently in China, then I’ll eat my hat 😉
    Warm regards,

  2. Jane Caldwell says:

    WOW Diane!! just beautiful to see His continued work in the life of your family and those precious girls!! P.S. and you have SUCH a gift in writing!! May He continue to pour out His blessing over your lives. THanks for encouraging us!!

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