There has been much discussion throughout some of the groups I have chosen to share my blog in about my using the word, ‘rescue’ when I speak of adopting our daughters. I’ve read many comments from deeply pained older adoptees who feel hurt by the use of the word rescue. To those people, allow me to offer a genuine apology.
All of us long to feel wanted, chosen, loved. We want to feel that our parents selfishly wanted us, wanted to parent a child, wanted to have the privilege of parenting us.
I get it. And I’m sorry.
I can also say, without hesitation, that I wanted our girls. I chose them, consider having the privilege of parenting them an incredible honor, and am blessed beyond measure to call them my own.
Having said that, children need families. Orphanages are no place for a child to grow up. Even families adopting babies are protecting them from the horrors of orphanage life or the potential dangers of the foster care system, and they are offering those children the ability to have their most basic needs met, to attach, to have permanency and safety, to be loved.
If that’s not rescuing, I don’t know what is.
As a mother of eleven, I can attest to the fact that parenting any child is hard work, yet God’s word is clear. Children are blessings. All children are blessings, not merely those who are healthy.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
I can also say that all children have special needs, not one child is perfect in every way. Every child is a mixture of strengths and weaknesses.
Indeed, we are all broken. And we all need the Savior. Their is no shame in needing to be rescued. God rescues us, and He certainly loves us. He loved us so much He sent His only Son to rescue us. We should never feel that we are loved less because we needed to be rescued. The Bible says he counts the hairs on our heads and collects our tears in bottle.
There is a big movement among conservative Christians to adopt children with big special needs. Even our girls had significant special needs. People are deliberately choosing to make their lives harder to care for these kids with big needs.
Because God loves them, and they are valuable treasures of the Most High God. He is love, and when we invite Him into our hearts and ask Him to fill us with Himself, His love overflows in us, and moves us to love His broken and beautiful children. His heart is for the orphan, the fatherless, the broken, the needy, and it is His faithfulness and love working in the hearts of His people that is bringing these precious children home.
For it is God who works in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure. ~ Philippians 2:13
Those of us who have answered God’s call to love one of His dear children, have done so by His grace, not in our own strength. So I was wrong in yesterday’s post to say that we had rescued our girls. I should have said that God had used us to rescue them, that He had moved in our hearts to long for them, and that we had stepped out in faith and watched Him bring them home to us.
And that we are now forever blessed.