Musings of a mother of many
The ocean breeze blows cool across the boards, blankets the rides with a moist dew and caresses my skin with its touch. It tickles my flesh and knocks at the fabric that covers my face. I long to suck it in, in deep satisfying breaths, to feel it fresh and alive within my lungs, to […] Read more…
Every single day, I feel a gnawing, a craving to come here to this tiny site in cyberspace, to this blank spot where words flow easily, where they tumble out tangled and tousled from that quiet, aching, yearning, hoping space inside of me and somehow become ordered linear thoughts.
It’s here where my words find their […] Read more…
Dear Heavenly Father,
I want to write something lovely and true, something beautiful and real and gifted that resonates with the masses, or even with just one – with that one person you want me to write for. My mind is jumbled and anxious. The pain feels like a balloon that inflates throughout the day until […] Read more…
My fingers fumble over the keys now, straining to find their way again. They’ve lost that effortless feeling of gliding over the keyboard as they did before.
Just like my body lost its strength and my mind its memory of the summer months.
The doctors didn’t tell me that.
They didn’t tell me how much I would lose, […] Read more…
I can still feel the pain of all of it. I can feel my muscles ache and swell from the disease. I remember every time I’ve fallen throughout the years because my core muscles and hips and thighs are so weak. I feel the smashing onto the ground and feel the pain of every hit. I feel the childhood embarrassment of not being the same as everyone else. My right femur still aches when it rains or the weather changes, a deep bone pain that I can’t reach and somehow still feels as though my leg is crying out for the pieces the doctors took out, for it’s lost parts. My legs are thick and heavy from the disease. I try hard to walk straight and strong so no one sees the weakness and pain within me. Read more…
To All of My Precious Children,
Time has such an insidious way of changing things.
Somehow as I reflect here in this crepuscule and obscure hamlet I’ve found myself in, my mind transcends time and space. It erases the years between, and all at once I hold each one of you in my arms, my infants and […] Read more…
My sister posted this photo on her wall today, and I thought that’s it. That’s exactly it.
There are so many voices within me that won’t be silenced tonight.
I can’t do what most of America believes is exactly what I should do.
The Dr’s office called and scheduled my surgery tentatively for June 26, but in my […] Read more…
Today is my birthday, and on it, amidst the business of caring for a family of 13, I begin a new journey.
It’s not a journey I ever thought I’d have to take.
Yet it is one God has allowed into my life for a reason.
And I begin this path willingly and in confidence that God will […] Read more…
